i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
