Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
