textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
