Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
