***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
