He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize