I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
