I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
