best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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