every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
