i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize