just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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