Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
