I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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