The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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