dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you win again, gameday.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
