Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
