My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize