Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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