she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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