Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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