this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
