Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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