It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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