Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize