Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i out mim tonsoeep
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
