so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm lost and stupid without you.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
