moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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