Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
