I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Porn is love you can see.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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