It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
