don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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