P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize