It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
