Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
