yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
