I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
