please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize