So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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