I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize