i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
