We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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