please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
