You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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