Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize