jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't shave. On purpose
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize