she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize