just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
