I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize