"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
