you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
either way he was missing a nipple.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
