they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
