Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
