he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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