You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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