Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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