I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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