i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I lost the right to judge tonight
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize