is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
