He kissed a someone with a penis
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize