he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
