Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
