She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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