I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
BRING THE BAGELS
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
